reflect.
What a whirlwind of a year. Regardless how many times I've complained about being overworked or exhausted to the bone, all that goes out the window because I've been living out my dreams. This time last year I set a goal to one day move to the Big Apple, well that day came sooner than anticipated. Of course I understand moving here is only skimming the surface. Being able to sustain myself in this city is really whats going to count.
Slowly I'm learning to let go of all fears & insecurities by practicing confidence & optimism daily.
Despite a few (what at the time seemed tragic) heartbreaks, professional & personal, I'm stronger than I've ever been. I came to the learn that those who don't want to be or aren't meant to be in your life will walk away. There is no need to beg, cry, force, stomp, scream, etc for someone to stay when they clearly don't see you as a necessity to their life. Its a natural process of elimination. Business deals that fall through. Men who portray themselves as "grown" yet can't be man enough to be honest with themselves, let alone others. Fake friends who tell only half truths, who's actions don't match the words they preach, turn around for a split second & stab you in the back with a dirty knife. Those people are better off being eliminated early on anyways. We live & we learn...
Instead of lingering on losses I'd much prefer to count my many blessings...
I'm thankful to all those embarking this journey with me. I'm thankful to old & new friends. Old friends who keep me humble & know me better than I will ever know myself. New friends willing to share their lives with me. Thankful for my parents for being my rock & support system. Mom for constantly feeding me words of wisdom, even when I don't want to hear it I know its all true. Dad for being my "silent business partner" & showing me how pertinent it is to have a good work ethic. Will for putting up with me & reminding me daily to aspire to be a good role model for you.
As summer comes to a close I check some goals off & simultaneously add a few more on. In the midst of this chaotic time its the happiest & most peaceful I've ever felt. The future is always a mystery, I can't wait to see what it holds.
PS I will be performing in The Actors Project Season 27 showcase in October. Email if interested in tickets :)